[2024 September DCTB Mindfulness Tip]
What if you say YES to every aspect of your life? How would that feel? What could you accomplish?
Our mind is much more comfortable saying No. No is predictable. No keeps us following the same tracks. No gives us a sense of security. No provides clear boundaries. When we say no, we feel good about all the energy we have spent worrying. No ties us to our limited animal brain, and forces us to operate from a place of protecting ourselves from the Great Unknown. It makes us settle for the least disturbing option.
No is familiar and feels safe, but it comes with constraint, lack, and so much suffering.
On the path of Trikaya Buddhism, we have the ability to challenge the No that comes up so often. By paying attention to the scripts running in our mind, we can instead choose Yes. We can consciously move our focus to see how we are saying Yes to the activities we find ourselves doing.
This doesn’t mean we automatically commit to every opportunity. Rather, when a chance to experience something new comes along, we stop to examine it. We ask ourselves, “What if I say Yes?”
We follow along in our mind, watching the potential play out, the best we can with the information available. We project into this possible future for a moment. We note how it feels.
If there is excitement, if there is joy, if there is something in that potential future for us, then we go forward with action. We move the Yes from our mind into our bodies. By sticking with our practice, the momentum continues, and we undergo transformation.
If the brightness is not there, we turn back to our current place in time and space. We look at the possibilities available in that moment. With the intent to say Yes, we keep examining our options until we find the one road where we feel the joy, where there is a spark of light. We ask: what can I fully commit to in this moment? Then we say Yes, and follow that path with our mind and body.
Following the Yes is not only for big decisions. It’s actually something that is better practiced in small everyday moments. Then when a big opportunity comes along, we can be more discerning because we know how it feels to operate from a sense of YES.
Pay attention to the payoff. How did it feel when you followed the Yes? (We learn best through positive feedback. Our bodies and mind always want to move towards what feels good!)
Sometime we get caught up in following the No. After all, that’s how many people live, and how most of us were initially trained. Pay attention to how it feels to follow the No. Notice the constriction and tension in the muscles and in the mind. Notice the limitation, the helplessness.
Be gentle when you find your nervous system being tasked by the No state. It is filled with worry and concern for the future. Remember your mind is doing its best to protect you. Say thank you for this most excellent service it provides.
Then look for where you can say Yes, knowing sometimes yes is retreating, and sometimes yes is challenging. Create a game where you ask your mind what is one small action I can do with my whole being? What can I say YES to right now?
When we follow the Yes, we calm the nervous system. Worry slows, tensions relax. We recognize we are safe in this moment of breathing in and breathing out. We see that we have what we absolutely need right now, or it becomes evident what we need and we automatically move towards it. By finding something we can say Yes to, we move into our higher selves. We rise a bit, and enjoy a clearer view of even more options. By following the Yes, we come into alignment with the Truth of our being.
What are you saying Yes to right now?
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