Her Time of Power

We are creative beings. Our entire physical and subtle-physical structures are designed to create through the endless transformation of matter and energy. We cannot help but create!

This is both our blessing and curse. We have this innate ability to design and explore endless experiences in samsara, but that same ability can lead us into attachment and endless suffering.

Most people build their lives unconsciously, based on their prior conditioning and samskaras. They see only the physical and live trapped in the horror show of clinging to transient existence. Not recognizing the emptiness that is the basis for what we are, they are overcome with suffering, and they manifest worlds of misery for themselves.

The good news for those of you who have found your way to this blog, is you are more aware than most people. Perhaps you already feel the creative energy you embody. Maybe you have even succeeded at manifesting some of the things you want to experience.

There is a moment during the fulfillment of desire when a door opens. If we step through this door, we discover the transient nature of desire, of this world, and of our very self. In this moment, we can see beyond all of this and into the radiance of pure creation. If we miss it, we feel momentary satiation and another desire erupts.

As a teenager, I discovered the movement of energy within me, and learned to play with creation. In a small, mostly Christian town there wasn’t anyone to talk to about my experiences, so I kept them private. The one time I promised my friends the rain would stop for the concert we were attending changed the way they looked at me when the sun suddenly burst through the cloud bank an hour before the show, so I learned to shut my mouth after that. There was not much I wanted, but anything I really, really needed I could ask the Divine and let Her move through me. What I enjoyed about it was the feeling, the rush of pure kundalini that would fill me. It didn’t take long for me to realize there wasn’t anything physical I deeply desired. What I really wanted was to merge with the Divine, to stay in that feeling of Her energy moving me.

Along the way, I took many detours and side trips and became trapped over and over by my attachments. But whenever I became lost, I could always return by paying attention to the creative process. Sometimes I would get stuck clinging to what I thought I wanted, but the deepest desire always wins out. In this way, the Divine Mother has brought me to many excellent teachers.

If you are not creating the life you want, look into your own being and ask: what do I truly want to experience right now?

This is a powerful question, and there is no correct answer.There is only the answer that is true in this present moment. It requires us to strip away all the mental bs, all the stories of who we think we are and what we think we should experience. Listening for the answer requires us to be naked in front of the mirror of the Self, to be willing to look at ourselves with honesty. Many people get whiny and experience degrees of self-loathing in this process, so they avoid it. If we dig past all of the drama of the mind, we discover clarity and simplicity. If you want to reconnect with your highest creative potential do not skip this step.

My Teacher Rama told us a woman’s strongest time of power is when she has her period. Living with Endometriosis made this my time of strongest pain, and I certainly did not feel powerful when curled in a ball with a hot pack on my back and belly. Yet the deepest desire always wins out,and the creative force taught me how to move my mind beyond pain and be free of suffering.

Looking at how the structures of our being work, we can see the truth in what Rama told us. When the egg is released, a cascade of hormones impels procreation. A tremendous amount of energy is unlocked in preparation for building a brand new human. If pregnancy does not occur, then this energy is still there, and is released physically through menstruation. What women often miss is the opportunity to direct this power energetically. Anything we think about during and especially immediately after our period has the full force of creation behind it.

If we miss an opportunity, don’t worry, there will be another chance next month. Life is not static; it is an endless creative process. Even after menopause this cycle continues on an energetic level; however it can be more challenging to tune into it because we don’t have the physical reminder of the creative beings we are. Whether or not we have a period, we can connect with the rhythm of the moon, and use that as an anchor for our cycles of Divine creativity.

All people – women and men – have this feminine creative energy. They also have masculine energy. In the energy world, the feminine is the potential, the giant wave of power, and the masculine is the kinetic, the movement of that power. When we shape this wave of power, we are using the feminine; when we act in alignment with that intention, we are using the masculine part of our being. We need both in order to create the opportunities and experiences in our life.

Men also have creative cycles they experience; however they are much shorter and more frequent. If a man tunes into his body, he will discover his personal cycles when the full force of the feminine power of creation releases through him naturally. For male bodies, this cycle can run at any speed; it can be daily, weekly, or even longer or shorter.

Both men and women can also manipulate the timing of the release of the cycle of creation through sex; however the amount of raw energy available is determined by the creative cycle of your being. The point is to discover your natural rhythms and work with them instead of being a victim of an unconscious life. As we examine the subtle body in greater detail, we can see how the creative energy moves through us.

For some people, the energy from the second chakra drops into the first. This is our survival center. We see this in people who struggle with homelessness, eating disorders, substance abuse, and other issues affecting the body’s survival. People engaging in the poisons of greed, hate and anger can fall into this realm quite easily. Our being is attempting to heal the part of us that hates our very existence by dropping the energy into the first chakra. This provides ample opportunities for us to choose take care of the body.

Rama gave his students a wonderful gift. He taught us to take care of ourselves in the material world and he displaced our karma. In a sense, he removed it so we wouldn’t have to deal with it this time around and could instead focus on our spiritual study. From my view, it’s like he put a pin in it and this gave us the chance to grow in Light so deeply that when we have to deal with our samskaras, it would not be a big deal. Of course, I’m stubborn. And our deepest desire always wins out.

Although I created an ideal life with every support I needed to focus on my practice, it wasn’t enough. I soon cried to the Goddess to do whatever it takes for me to wake up and she unlocked the karma.

Energy poured into my first chakra and unearthed every attachment, every bit of anger and hate, every idea of worthlessness. Through a devastating and mysterious chronic illness, I was forced to learn. I looked for reasons to explain the karma in the physical, in the subtle, and even in past lives. I felt the abandonment of the monks not coming to get me when I was 5 … and then I realized it was not cool for strangers to come take kids from their parents in the United States, even if it was to live in a monastery! I finally acknowledged that knowing why I had these feelings of anger and hate did not make any difference – in the end they were all just stories that only temporarily satisfied the ego.

What I really needed to learn was to love what is. I had to learn to accept my body the way it is, even when it would not cooperate. I had to learn to be gentle in the face of anger. I had to learn to love myself and treat myself as worthy. Once I learned to love being, the holes within the first chakra closed and the energy climbed back up into the third chakra, allowing my life and body to stabilize.

For the average person whose awareness is primarily restricted to the physical world, when the creative energy moves up from the second chakra, it is released through the power center, the third chakra. We see this manifested in the world as people focused on domination and accumulation of resources. Moving energy out through the navel center limits us to a world we must try to control at all times. Great wealth, strength, and influence can be developed in this way. It can also bind us to the greed sickness of never ending desire and always wanting more that leads to suffering. We start to see it’s a lot of work constantly trying to control everything – it’s exhausting – and there’s always some aspect we cannot quite wrangle under our thumb.

When we’ve played out creating all the stuff and control we want, we eventually recognize it will not fulfill us. The heart begins to open.

The trap people fall into at this point is they start pushing energy out from their heart, in the same way they pushed energy out from the navel center. This wipes us out as we are forcing energy against its natural flow. It makes us feel like we need protection and shuts down the heart. The heart chakra is an INLET, not an outlet.

When we open the heart, we embrace. We accept what is. We allow the energy of the world to enter us, no matter what it feels like. When we can fully open, we see beyond judgments of good or bad and simply allow all that is to flow into our being. If we keep going, we see there is no separation, there is no Other.

The energy does not stay in the heart chakra. It moves in a cycle from the heart and drops into the second chakra. It builds there until the next cycle of creation releases it upwards. The subtle body breathes as the cycle continues and the heart opens even further.

If we meditate and have learned to still the mind, the energy moves into the central channel and we can let it flow up past the heart. Simply by meditating and silencing the mind, the energy will move into the central channel – there is no need or benefit of forcing it. In fact, it can create problems if you try to force it, so don’t.

We live in interesting times when more and more people are waking up; I’m sharing this information to help those who are already moving in this direction. Without a schematic, it can feel disconcerting when you go through these transformations. When the world cycles through dark times, it motivates people to find their way back to the Divine, if they know it’s an option!

Once the energy is in the central channel, it will naturally rise. When the heart is open, the energy will bubble up past the heart and into the throat chakra. This is a center of creative expression through speech, art,music, dance, martial arts, etc. This is creation with pinpoint accuracy. The throat is an outlet, but only through a small stream. We can use this precision to cut someone to pieces or to inspire them through beauty. To continue to grow into the Light, we use the creative outlet of the throat chakra to express only Right Speech: that which is True, compassionate, and based in loving-kindness and altruistic joy.

As we tap into our divine power, the energy will continue to rise and reach the third eye. This is the center of innovation, and when there is enough energy pouring out from it, we can create entire worlds. Imagination can be let loose and we can manifest our view in our lives. Perception bends to our will, and we see whatever we wish to experience. We all do this to a small degree from the moment we are born, but when we have access to the creative force moving through us, we can do it on a grander scale.

People reach this state and think they are Enlightened. They create a bubble-universe where they are protected and supported. These heavens are quite lovely, and we can stay there for eons. But the deepest desire always wins out … and we all want to eventually be Free.

When we begin to pull ourselves away from our self created worlds, we discover we do not see reality through the third eye; we see only our perception of it. As Antoine de Saint-Exupéry wrote in The Little Prince, “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

We return from our worlds of illusion and go deeper into meditation. We allow the energy to build and build in the third eye until it breaks the lens of perception. Our awareness moves through different stages until the crown finally bursts open.

Then everything and nothing changes. We recognize we are not the do-er and never have been. We find ourselves beyond … beyond words and concepts. And of course, the exploration of awareness continues forever.

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